"A tedious brief scene ..... very tragical mirth."

Enter the Premier League theater, where we define Love as such:

Hate as such:

And Love-Hate, worthy of copious tears, shook fists and existential angst, as such :

(Deco wearing That-Hateful-Team's kit. Curse these transfer windows.)

So in mangled iambic pentameter, I declare, "One of my loves has sprung from one of my hates" (Well, there can be a plurality of loves and hates). "Deny thy coach and refuse thy team; or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, And I'll no longer be a Gunner" (No...no, no. Not really). And finally, in unapologetic, unmitigated melodrama, "O, woe is me, To have seen what I have seen, see what I see!"

(small bow. exit)

Images courtesy of:
1. www.footballpictures.net
2. The official website of the Un-nameable
3. yahoo sports