Past Perfect Senses

The beauty is in the attempt. Or some such.

Inspiration: Chef John in You Don't Have to Be a Cheese Whiz to Make Your Own Fromage Blanc; Manjula of Manjula's Kitchen; this guy making labaneh; and

It has maps inside!! I love maps!!
Somebody please give me a globe.


Attempt 1: Labaneh.

Since I was very hungry and nearly passing out¹ (but still wanted to make cheese??), I stayed away on the first day from the ones that required cooking, so as not to set my house on fire.

Ingredients: Yoghurt and salt (1 quart yoghurt to 1 tsp of salt)

Tools: Strainer, cheesecloth (but since I couldn't find any, I used 2 layers of strips of gauze)

How I made it: 1. Mix yoghurt and salt. 2. Strain (then wait 24 hours).

Notes: Somehow I always end up mixing parts of one recipe with another. And not following the right portions of ingredients. So I hung this one a-la Chef John. And put too much salt. So while it looked luscious and quite creamy, it was uneatably salty.

Somebody please give me a Nikon.

Verdict: Except for the salt part, I'd do this one again.

p.s. A commenter said on the video, hey, that's just strained yoghurt!! Well, yes. It's lovely strained yoghurt, though.

Attempt 2: Ricotta-ish/cottage cheese-ish/fresh.

Ingredients: Milk, lemon juice (supposedly 1 quart to 1/4 cup), buttermilk (1 cup, if following Chef John, straight-faced funny as heck), 1/2 cup water (to mix with lemon juice, if following Manjula), 3/4 tsp salt

Tools: Same as #1

How I made it: 1. Heat milk (about 10 minutes, said Manjula). 2. Pour lemon juice in. Curd should separate from whey. 3. Turn off heat. 4. Strain. 5. Wait 30 minutes (if following Chef John). 6. Remove from gauze. 7. Mix in salt. 8. Cover with cling wrap. 9. Keep in fridge overnight "for flavor to develop".

Notes: I may have overheated the milk (but Manjula didn't turn it off until it finished curdling!!), or used too much lemon juice (I used juice from 2 small ones. Did I measure it? Mmm, no...). Or maybe it was because I did not use buttermilk (but, Manjula!?!). I ended up with a rather dry "cheese". Not creamy, nor was it white like in the demos. I wonder why? Film kept forming on top too. It turns out you're supposed to stir once in a while to prevent that happening.

Further notes: I had this idea that to make mozzarella, you just need to put the curds in hot water and pull. So I thought I'd use some of the curds to do just that for this batch (ambitious, aren't we). Then, just prior to starting, while reviewing the instructions, I saw another video called "Make mozzarella cheese in less than an hour!" so I said, "Excellent..." (a-la Mr. Burns). But of course I did not have citric acid, nor the other curdling thingies. Equals curd begriming the hot water.

Real stretchy.

Verdict: In the morning, I found out that the "cheese" did not magically get creamy overnight (Yes, I was kinda hoping...). It did taste like dry, crumbly cheddar, though.

Attempt 3: Ricotta-ish/cottage cheese-ish/fresh, Part Deux.

Upped with the addition of cream. Let's make double? cream cheese why don't we.

Ingredients: Same as #2, except the buttermilk, add 1 cup cream, use vinegar instead of lemon juice (in God-knows-how-much-amount. My milk wouldn't curdle so I kept adding and adding and it still wouldn't curdle until I said oh that's it I'm not putting up with you anymore. And I just strained what has become of my milk [a paper-recycling vat full of muddish torn wet paper]), no more need for water.

Tools: Same as #2

How I made it: 1. Stir, stir, stir until bubbles form at the sides. 2. Turn off heat. 3. Add maybe that was 1 tsp vinegar (I used only half the milk, by the way, so I'd have some left for Honey Flakes the next day). It curdled a bit, but not quite. 4. Add more. 5. Nope. 6. More. 7. Nope. 8. Turn heat on again. 9. Is that whey separating from my curds? 10. Nope. 11. Turn heat off again. 12. Add more vinegar. 13. Probably added 1/3 cup total. 14. Before I gave up. 15. Strain. 16. Hang. 17. Wait. 18. Hey that looks LESS dry. 19. Mix in salt (in the corresponding amount). 20. Cling wrap. 21. Fridge. 22. No attempt at mozzarella this time.

Notes: Hey! That kinda looks...better! Fluffier. And hey--it's creamy in my mouth, too. And it tastes like...cheese. Cheddar. Crumbly, creamy Cheddar. Sure I was supposed to make spreadable, soft, white, fresh, ricotta, but I'll take this just fine, because, hey, it's Cheddar-like! I made Cheddar-Like! And made everyone taste it. Unaged Cheddar. I'm so great. My mother liked it. My sister said it was good...mild.

Patience is a virtue.

Verdict: I can do anything, you know.

So over the long weekend, I realized:

1. Juicing lemon is hard. Squeezing lemon with your hand is hard. Squeezing lemon with 2 hands is hard. And with a cereal box cut on your finger it's painful, too.

Somebody please give me a squeezer.

2. Making cheese is an exact science and a craft. It takes precise measurements, and skills, to do it. Maybe making cheese is not something I could wing. Nah I could wing this. With some practice.

3. You can substitute gauze for cheesecloth (Yay! I contributed to cheese knowledge! Nobody burst my bubble).

4. Many a people gave up their (naval engineering, hotel managing, insurance brokering, archaelogy) careers to focus on making cheese. Hm.

5. When one attempt fails, and two attempts fail, you set on a third one, more ambitious than the first two. And so on.

6. Of course draining time matters, too.

"In his confusion he bit a large piece out of his teacup instead of the bread-and-butter."
--- L.C.

*Araw ng Kagitingan weekend.